Fear of loneliness was the topic of discussion today for me. Wondering if I will ever find a true soul mate and if I do, will I actually let them in so I may experience true love? Thoughts emerging this morning almost lead to a breakdown for me. I stuffed the emotion unfortunately, which is one action I am trying NOT to do anymore. Stuffing the small shit sandwiches leads to big shit sandwiches eventually. After my group therapy today I left more confused of who I am and what I will do when I head home…alone. I am probably right where I am supposed to be though. Hate that expression. I have had so much growth the last few weeks and have changed, I feel it and others have witnessed the change. Change is not permanent though, it’s constant. On the bright side of things I received a voicemail today from a guy who has now announced that he loves me… He barely knows me, we had a fling, I am into him for one thing and one thing only, and it was not for love! Too bad I was not in a clear mind when deciding to hook up with him. Now he has taken this too far and has made it creepy. Part of my change needs to be my poor decisions in relationships, not only with self, but with others. Fortunately I am working on myself vigorously on my way to a new me and a new chapter in life. Any trash WILL be thrown out. Temptation will come and temptation will go. It’s my choice to let it in or escort it out by it’s balls!!! Having a back bone for myself is tough when I am very lonely and not used to standing up for myself. The program I am currently in has been impacting my life with such power I must succeed. Succeeding is the key for me, I must succeed. I know there are others out there with the same emotions as me. We need to figure this shit out and we will have a bountiful life.